Frankie Stocker helps colleagues help patients with fetal loss.
Frankie is an OB nurse in the Birth Center. Seeing loss there (and in her own family) spurred Frankie to create education for NH+C nurses and staff to help families when they experience the loss of a baby.
NH+C honors select employees each year as part of our Do The Next Right Thing initiative that empowers every individual on staff to help provide the best experience possible for patients, guests, and each other. We're proud to honor Frankie for her commitment to families experiencing loss.
Pregnancy loss is more common that we realize – one in four women experience it, whether early pregnancy loss, miscarriage or stillborn.
“I have a special place in my heart for these families. I would take every loss family if it was up to me, but training in other nurses and making them feel comfortable around it, makes us all better nurses – and we can provide the care that patients need,” Frankie says.
The training is designed to help nurses and staff know what to expect, to build a level of comfort so when it’s time to care for a patient experiencing loss, “you’re in a place where you can focus on them and not be held captive by your own discomfort,” Frankie says.
Frankie created two modules: One for the Birth Center and Surgical Services for loss of greater than 20 weeks’ gestation; and one for the Emergency Department, EMS, and Same Day Surgery for loss of less than 20 weeks’ gestation. The education modules cover everything from hands-on patient care to the process of calling funeral homes, arranging for an autopsy, calling the coroner’s office, providing families with resources from Infants Remembered in Silence (IRIS). Frankie worked closely with IRIS and attended a seminar on perinatal bereavement through Resolve through Sharing, one of the top hospitals that educates health professionals and provides resources to help families with the grief process.
“You’re still going to be nervous the first time you take care of someone in that situation, but knowing what the process will be like, and how you can help the patient and family know what to expect helps you provide a sensitive combination of nursing care and human care,” Frankie says.
It’s a matter of empathy, rather than sympathy: Be willing to get down in that dark space with the family and help them through it, rather than try to make it better right away.
“One parent told me, ‘I didn’t want to hold my baby. Then you picked her up and rocked her, and gave her the human connection and showed me that this is still my baby. It was hard, but I’m so grateful I was able to get over my fear and have that memory with her,’” Frankie recalls.
“It’s a whole different realm of what nurses do, especially OB nurses,” she adds. “We’re so blessed to be part of the happiest moments of someone’s life. But we need to prepare ourselves to be present in the hard moments, too.”
Frankie’s project also established the Birth Center staff as a resource for other departments that have fewer encounters with patients experiencing loss.
“Everyone has their niche. This just happens to be mine. Dive into yours,” Frankie advises. “Be a resource for your colleagues. It makes us a better, more cohesive team of nurses and staff.”